Sam had the job, the apartment, the relationship. On paper, everything was fine. But at 31, they couldn't shake the feeling that they should be... somewhere else. Doing something else. Being someone else. Lound helped them stop running from the question and actually answer it.
Sam is 31, a marketing manager at a company that's fine. They have an apartment in a city they moved to five years ago. A relationship that's stable but not exciting. Friends they see occasionally. A routine that works.
But somewhere between 29 and now, something shifted. They started Googling "quarter life crisis" at midnight. Started feeling a weird envy watching friends make bold moves. Started wondering if "fine" was enough, or if "fine" was just a slow settling.
The question that wouldn't go away: "Is this really it?"
"I don't even know what I'm feeling. It's not depression exactly. I'm functional. I go to work. I see people. But there's this like... fog. This sense that I'm on a path I didn't choose and I don't know how to get off it. Or if I even want to. Does everyone feel like this at 31?"
"I keep saying 'I should be further along by now.' But further along toward what? I never actually defined what 'further' looks like. I just absorbed this idea that by 30 you're supposed to have it figured out. Who decided that? Why did I believe them?"
"My friend just quit her job to travel for a year. Another one is doing a complete career pivot. And I'm here, doing the same thing I've been doing, telling myself I'm being responsible. But what if responsible is just another word for scared?"
I've noticed something in your entries. You've said "I should be further along" 8 times in two weeks. But you've never once defined what "further along" means to you.
You're measuring yourself against a finish line you never set. You're running a race you didn't enter.
What would "further along" actually look like if you got to decide?
"That question hit different. What would 'further along' look like if I got to decide? I don't know. I genuinely don't know. I've been so busy measuring myself against other people's milestones that I never created my own. That's kind of messed up."
When have I actually felt like I was on the right track?
Looking at your entries, there's a pattern. You feel most alive when you're:
Your job is mostly managing. Your life is mostly consuming. When's the last time you created something?
I... don't remember.
Maybe that's the "fog." You're not lost in the sense of being on the wrong path. You're lost because you stopped doing the things that make you feel like yourself.
"I signed up for a ceramics class. Just one class, Saturday morning. I feel stupid admitting this but I'm actually nervous. What if I'm bad at it? What if I don't like it? But also... I feel something I haven't felt in a while. I think it's anticipation. I forgot what that felt like."
"I made a bowl. It's lopsided. It's honestly kind of ugly. But I made it. With my hands. And for three hours I didn't think about work or my relationship or whether I'm where I'm supposed to be. I just made a thing."
"I forgot that I'm allowed to be a beginner. I forgot that not everything has to be about progress or optimization or getting 'further.' Some things can just be about being present."
You haven't mentioned "I should be further along" in 10 days. You mentioned "anticipation" for the first time. And "present" for the first time. Something's shifting.
They weren't lost. They were just measuring themselves against the wrong map.
"Further along" was never defined. They were chasing a finish line that didn't exist.
Lound found what made them feel alive: learning, creating, deep conversations. They'd stopped doing all of them.
One ceramics class didn't solve everything. But it proved they could change. That was enough to start.
Sam still has the same job. The same apartment. But they also have a ceramics studio membership, a book club with deep conversations, and a growing sense that "fine" isn't the destination anymore. They're not running toward someone else's milestone. They're building their own. One ugly, lopsided bowl at a time.
If you're stuck comparing yourself to milestones you never chose, maybe you don't need a new career or a big dramatic change. Maybe you just need to figure out what "further along" actually means to you. Let Lound help you find the question before you chase the wrong answer.