Senior engineer. Great reviews. Still convinced every meeting is the one where they realize he's been faking it. Derek spent years waiting for the other shoe to drop, until he started listening to what he was actually saying about himself.
Derek is 35, a senior software engineer at a company that recruited him. He's shipped products used by millions. His performance reviews are excellent. But every time he walks into a meeting, part of him is waiting to be exposed.
When he speaks up, he second-guesses himself immediately. When he doesn't speak, he wonders if they noticed he had nothing to contribute. Every success feels like luck. Every struggle feels like proof.
He's tried affirmations. He's read the articles. He knows, intellectually, that imposter syndrome is common. But knowing doesn't make the feeling go away.
"Had the architecture review today. I proposed migrating to the new system and everyone just... agreed. No pushback. And instead of feeling good, I'm sitting here convinced I somehow tricked them. Like they'll realize tomorrow that the plan has some fatal flaw I missed. I've been doing this for 12 years and I still feel like I'm winging it."
"Junior dev asked me a question today and I didn't know the answer. Had to look it up. Normal thing, right? But my brain immediately went to 'see, you don't actually know what you're doing.' Meanwhile, I've answered probably 500 questions this year. One I don't know and it's proof I'm a fraud."
"Got positive feedback in our 1:1. Manager said I'm one of the strongest engineers on the team. And I literally thought 'they're just being nice' and moved on. Why do I do that? Why does negative stuff stick and positive stuff just... slides off?"
I've been tracking how you process work events. Here's what I notice:
You're not collecting evidence fairly. You're running a court where only the prosecution gets to speak.
But what if I really am not as good as people think?
Let's look at the evidence you've given me: You've shipped major features. You mentor juniors. Your manager specifically highlighted your technical strength. The architecture proposal you were sure would fail? It was approved and is being implemented.
What evidence do you have that you're not good enough? Specifically?
I guess... I just feel like I don't know enough.
That's a feeling, not evidence. And interestingly, the Dunning-Kruger effect suggests that competent people often feel this way because they know enough to see how much they don't know.
The people who feel certain they know everything? They're often the ones who know the least.
"Trying something new. Instead of just venting about imposter feelings, I'm going to actually record evidence. Today: fixed a bug that three other people couldn't figure out. Took me 20 minutes because I remembered a similar issue from two years ago."
"Old me would have said 'lucky.' But it wasn't luck. It was experience. Twelve years of experience that I keep pretending doesn't exist."
This week you recorded 8 specific instances of competence. That's more than the previous 2 weeks combined. You're not suddenly better at your job. You're just finally keeping score accurately.
"The imposter feelings aren't gone. I don't think they'll ever fully go away. But now when they show up, I have a place to check. Three weeks of actual evidence that I'm not a fraud. Not affirmations. Not positive thinking. Just... facts. Things I actually did. Hard to argue with a list."
Imposter syndrome isn't about lacking confidence. It's about keeping unfair records.
Feelings say "fraud." The recorded evidence says otherwise. Now he has something to check when doubt shows up.
He was counting every mistake and dismissing every success. Now he records both. The ratio tells a different story.
The imposter feelings still come. But now he knows: competent people doubt themselves. It's the overconfident ones who should worry.
Derek still feels like a fraud sometimes. Probably always will. But he's stopped letting that feeling run the show. When the doubt creeps in, he opens Lound and reviews the evidence. The list is long now. And every entry is something that actually happened, something no amount of imposter syndrome can erase.
If you're convinced you're about to be found out, maybe the problem isn't your competence. Maybe it's how you're keeping score. Start recording the evidence. Let the facts do the talking.