The Questions to Ask Yourself Before 2026

Most people set New Year’s goals without asking the questions that would make those goals useful.

They skip straight to “what do I want?” without first asking “what did I learn?” or “what am I avoiding?” or “what actually matters to me?”

The result is goals that sound good but don’t stick. Resolutions borrowed from what you think you should want rather than what you actually want.

Before you make any commitments for 2026, spend time with these questions. Speak your answers out loud rather than just thinking them. The articulation reveals things that silent reflection misses.

Looking Back

What actually happened this year?

Not the highlights you’d share on social media. Not the lowlights you’d complain about. What actually happened?

Speak it as a narrative. “The year started with… then in spring… by summer I was… fall brought…”

You’ll notice themes you didn’t see while living through it. Patterns emerge when you tell the story.

What am I most proud of?

Not accomplishments that looked good to others. Things that felt meaningful to you, even if no one noticed.

Sometimes the thing you’re most proud of is surviving a difficult period. Or having a hard conversation. Or not doing something you were tempted to do.

What do I wish I’d done differently?

Not to beat yourself up. To learn.

Be specific. “I wish I’d spoken up earlier about…” or “I wish I’d spent less time on…” Vague regret doesn’t teach. Specific regret does.

What did I learn about myself?

Not lessons you learned about the world. Lessons about you specifically.

How do you work best? What do you actually need? What are you capable of that you didn’t know before? Where do you consistently struggle?

This self-knowledge is more valuable than any external accomplishment.

What am I still carrying from this year?

Unfinished business. Unprocessed emotions. Unresolved conflicts. Unexpressed gratitude.

Name it out loud. Some things just need to be acknowledged. Others need action before you can truly move on.

Looking Inward

What am I pretending is fine that isn’t?

We all have areas of life we’ve decided to ignore because dealing with them feels overwhelming.

A relationship that isn’t working. A job that’s slowly draining you. A health issue you’re avoiding. A financial reality you’re not facing.

Speaking the truth privately is the first step to acting on it. What have you been pretending is fine?

What would I do if I weren’t afraid?

Classic question, but it works.

Don’t just name the thing. Explain the fear. What specifically are you afraid would happen? Hearing yourself articulate the fear often reveals how exaggerated it is.

What do I actually want?

Not what you think you should want. Not what others expect. Not what would look good.

What do you actually want your life to feel like? Speak it without editing. The first answer that comes might surprise you.

What am I tolerating that I shouldn’t be?

Things you’ve accepted as normal that aren’t actually acceptable. Situations you’ve adapted to but shouldn’t have to.

We normalize what we live with. Asking this question explicitly surfaces tolerations that have become invisible.

Who do I want to become?

Not what do you want to achieve. Who do you want to be?

Identity-based goals are more sustainable than outcome-based goals. “I want to be someone who exercises” is more powerful than “I want to lose 20 pounds.”

Looking Forward

What’s the one thing that would make 2026 feel successful?

Not a list. One thing.

If you accomplished this and nothing else, would you feel the year was worthwhile? Speaking this forces prioritization. Everything can’t be the most important thing.

What do I want to stop doing?

Subtractive goals are often more powerful than additive ones. What would you like to remove from your life?

Stop checking email first thing in the morning. Stop saying yes to commitments you don’t want. Stop spending time with people who drain you.

Stopping something creates space for something better.

What’s a small change that would make a big difference?

Not a major overhaul. A small shift that compounds.

Going to bed 30 minutes earlier. Taking a walk every lunch break. Speaking your thoughts for 2 minutes each day.

Small changes are sustainable. Big changes usually aren’t.

What support do I need that I haven’t asked for?

Most people try to do everything alone. What would help that you haven’t requested?

A mentor. A therapist. Help with childcare. Delegation at work. Honest feedback from a friend.

Asking for support isn’t weakness. It’s strategy.

What’s my biggest obstacle, and what’s my plan for it?

Every goal has obstacles. Naming them in advance is more effective than pretending they won’t appear.

What’s most likely to derail your intentions? What’s your if-then plan for when it happens?

How to Use These Questions

Don’t try to answer all of them in one sitting. That’s overwhelming and leads to superficial responses.

Instead:

Option 1: One question per day. Pick a question each day for the next two weeks. Spend 2 minutes speaking your answer. By January 1st, you’ll have thoroughly reflected.

Option 2: Three categories. Spend one session on “looking back,” another on “looking inward,” and a third on “looking forward.” Give each category 10-15 minutes of voice reflection.

Option 3: Pick the three that resonate. Scan the list. Which questions feel most alive right now? Answer those deeply and skip the rest.

The goal isn’t completion. It’s insight.

After Answering

Once you’ve reflected, patterns will emerge.

You’ll notice themes in what you want. Consistency in what’s blocking you. Clarity on what actually matters versus what you’ve been pretending matters.

From these patterns, intentions can form naturally. Not resolutions imposed from outside. Goals that emerge from genuine self-understanding.

Reflection before resolution is why some people change and others repeat the same year over and over.

You’ve done the reflection. Now you’re ready.

What will you do with what you’ve learned?